Well, it always looks worse before it gets better. Pregnancy is not easy. By no stretch of the imagination is it predictable, comfortable, or freeing – in the moment. We are told what pregnancy may look like by the ‘experts.’ We read the reports, we analyze the trends, we try and best prepare for possible circumstances ahead. We intellectually try and grasp what it may mean for us. But until we have experienced it, we really have no idea what will come about.
As expectant parents, our days are filled with wanting to know. We assess size and weight at every opportunity, determine the sex, envision exactly how we will be as parents. We know that we will have a child who never tantrums. They will be respectful and listen well. Despite our confidence, we ask friends what they think, if they have any advice, and we are governed mostly by the experiences of others. We know the pregnancy process is necessary deep down inside for the beautiful birth of a being on the other side, though it can be incredibly difficult at the moment to calm our nerves and tell ourselves that it will be ok.
We also may feel that NO ONE has experienced what we have – complications that may arise, fears, desires. So we may decide to stay quiet, leading to a feeling of aloneness and disconnection. We may feel that if we do express what is happening for us, that we will be judged so we isolate. We see so many others ‘handling it’ – so it’s best not to discredit our ability to be resilient and strong. The childhood belief that we are not supported is reinforced at this stage. We feel that we will forever walk alone, and have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. So we do.
After all, we rest on a paradigm of being superhuman, and always being able to figure it out ourselves. Well, the path of moving through a global crisis may feel to be as much of the same. It can feel nearly impossible to comprehend that there may be a purpose to our pain, and discomfort. We are so ready to just get ‘done with it’ and have everything return to normal, that we get lost in our anxiety and predictions of what may come about. We have learned by that point that reacting aggressively with little mindfulness is the norm – so it’s absolutely and perfectly fine to lash out at others and blame the outside circumstances. After all, it wasn’t a choice to deal with it or not, right?
We receive news that has the potential to propel us into a deeper state of worry at each and every moment. It can feel incredibly overwhelming to navigate through the heaps of information. We don’t know what source to trust, and how to navigate forward with all we have learned. There are too many unknowns, and no concrete advice really. So we continue to read, and investigate. It feels to be the most normal practice in such moments of uncertainty. Deep down inside, we still contemplate the possibilities. We understand that we weren’t actually living as our most truthful selves and that there may be an opportunity for humanity to learn something through the process. We are aware of how just caught up we are. We know that the stress we are putting our ourselves and needing the situation to be different is not productive. But we can not help our anxiety.
We find ourselves in flight or fight, not sure at times whether we will make it through. We had no idea it could get this bad We can also feel very alone on the journey through global crisis. We may forget that nature is supporting us. We may pull away from those we love most, not understanding how we may be impacting them. We are supposed to stay strong for our loved ones, but are crumbling inside. We don’t know where the fear is coming from, but it’s so ever-present.
We try and hide it, but our children can sense it. They don’t actually know if the world is safe and that they are going to be ok. We feel at a loss as we are hearing that many others are ‘handling it’ just fine, and we should be too. This shared, the uncertainty is what we are acclimatizing to. Whether it be the pregnancy in preparation for life alongside our children (involving no predictability, whatsoever!) or moving through a global shift, we really have no idea who, what, where, how, when.
We may find ourselves wanting to control our emotions acutely and responding in a certain manner, so we are not reacting to everything and everyone. We may feel compelled to predict the outcomes. The real test comes when unpredictability arises. HOW are we handling it? Are we exasperating the condition or situation, or are we meeting it with ease and grace? Are we trusting that there is a raison d’etre behind all of the frenzies we feel inside?
We encourage you to consider this – without an opportunity to get used to uncertainty, we remain as our limited selves. We contain and control, rather than express and expand. We will forever live a life on default – one that reverts back to what is familiar and safe. Are you ready to meet yourself with fuller potential? Embrace the ride that life is. Growth does not happen within our comfort box. It does not take place when we aren’t willing to get honest with ourselves about what fears may be arising from within. Remember – this world is not built for the fittest or strong, but rather those most nurtured. Be mindful of your own well being first and foremost. From there, you can open your heart to the world.