OVER 90% OF OUR BEHAVIOUR IS BASED ON WHAT WE LEARN IN THE FIRST 7 YEARS OF OUR LIVES.
Unless we bring conscious light to the patterns we are carrying. And that can feel like a big task, especially decades after holding on tight to that patterning due to familiarity and a feeling of safety. We develop ‘personalities’ and actually start believing that what we are on the outside defines our truth and intrinsic value.
WHO ARE WE, IF WE STRIP AWAY ALL OF THE ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES WHICH WE HAVE TAKEN ON? All of the material possessions, beauty, friends, and images we have of ourselves. That is whom the world is waiting for; that is whom our children are waiting for. The real person beneath all of the skins who is willing to share their heart authentically ❤️
We are our children’s representation of the truth in all of their early years — our energy, and whether we choose to see and hear them for who it is that they truly are, outside of our wants and projections and fears, is what becomes ingrained in their memory at a cellular level.
Our children, more than ever, need the guidance of an adult who has decided to take full responsibility for their behaviour and is willing to strip away the false self, so that children can feel safe connecting with the truth of who they are. This is where their true confidence, and self-knowing will come from, and alignment with their personal values. So that they can live in their greatest joy and purpose ?
What is happening in the world outside of us is simply a reflection of this inner chaos within. We are not acting in alignment with our hearts most often, as we have forgotten who we truly are. We are completely disconnected from the energy of love, and only seeing the masks of another more often than not. This is the source of power struggles in our world and war, of addictions, of chronic illness. WE ARE SIMPLY FIGHTING FOR A NEED TO BE SEEN, AS THE CHILD WITHIN US WANTS JUST THAT.
THIS IS WHY A 40-YEAR-OLD CAN HAVE THE TEMPERAMENT OF A 3 YEAR OLD, BECAUSE THAT CHILD WITHIN US HAS NEEDS THAT STILL HAVEN’T BEEN MET, AND IT IS SCREAMING OUT FROM WITHIN.
This doesn’t mean that life looks perfect, and it doesn’t mean it is ever a linear path. There is no timeline on growth, but there is a willingness to jump in. A willingness means the heart is open, and compassion and vulnerability are present to experience what is in front of us. This also means that we let the ego of the mind go, and don’t have ourselves convinced that we have it all together, or have evolved as far as we are going to (well, that may be the end of growth if that truly is the belief).
THE LACK OF SELF RESPONSIBILITY IS RESULTING IN LACK OF SELF-GROWTH.
WE ARE ALLOWING THE FEAR THAT IS DEEPLY EMBEDDED IN OUR PATTERNS TO RUN OUR LIFE, AND IT IS KEEPING US FROM ACCESSING THE GREATER INTELLIGENCE THAT IS WITHIN ALL OF US.
A pattern of fear means disconnection from our true nature and from authentic love for self, which in turn means we cling to our external worlds in hopes that it will give us the love we need to give ourselves.
Fear has many, many disguises to protect us from stepping into the vulnerability and compassion that helps us meet the truth of ourselves, and that of others.
How fear can look –
?️♀️Perhaps in our childhood, we felt we had no ability to make our own decisions, we are now plagued by the need to control.
?️♀️If we have a fear of abandonment or rejection, we may cling desperately to ‘popularity’ via media, or maintain patterns of over socializing.
?️♀️If we weren’t heard in our earliest days, we may raise our voice and tout our egos to be heard.
?️♀️If we didn’t feel we were enough, we may manifest a life of the hustle, or workaholism, so that we are validated on the outside.
?️♀️If we were told we were too sensitive, we may shut down emotionally and guard our hearts boldly.
?️♀️If we were told we were ‘bad,’ we may decide that we can only be ‘good’ and so we pursue the illusion of perfection. We are likely hypersensitive if our children behave in a manner that is not ‘socially acceptable’ as we fear what they may mean about us.
?️♀️If conflict is bad and ‘issues’ are brushed under the rug, we withdraw and avoid and shut down, instead of meeting another where they need to be met to actually nurture the relationship.
?️♀️Too loud or not contained, we shut off our self-expression.
?️♀️ If we put our parents on a pedestal and never questioned their beliefs, perhaps we are living someone else’s life rather than our own; it is seemingly smooth but not deeply alive or fulfilling.
These are the drivers for the guilt, shame, blame, resentment, anger, anxiety, irritability, chronic fatigue and addictions in the external world — the feelings that most all parents we surveyed carry.
A life where our humanness is not honoured is exhausting, as the love feels conditional and impermanent — it becomes a constant seeking for more, with no true peace. Our worth is determined only by our last action, rather than the permanent truth within us — that we were all born as love and all innocent, and we are all finding our way back there.
A life of full self-responsibility means no blame, no shame, no victimizing. It means dropping your narrative about someone else and letting go of the judgment you create through your own lens. The focus is on you, and only you, as your own consciousness can impact countless people in your energetic field, as well as many generations to come.
It feels like a huge task, doesn’t it — to believe that we have a choice in the matter. We can’t always control what comes at us, but we can surely decide how we want to face the lessons that are coming at us. And this is our duty. To fully express the gifts within ourselves responsibly. But this is not possible when the bricks have been laid around our heart, and the mortar has dried.
Can you allow for the universe to support you, in slowly chipping away at the walls that keep us from living the life we were put on the planet for? We need this more than ever before, and our children deserve better. Nature is pushing back on our behaviour. We can no longer live in a disconnected state, where connection is falsely manufactured, via medals, accolades, material possessions, substance, technology, and more. WHEN DOES THE PAIN OF HOLDING ON BECOME GREATER THAN THE FEAR OF LETTING GO?
We are the first generation to have the full right to step into the expansiveness that is available to us, without attachment to old systems that do not serve. WE HAVE A CHOICE ? Creating space and energy for the shift requires us to look forward, not backward. Anything that is requiring pushing energy, or you feel you are forcing, needs to be let go of at some point.
The path to liberation is freeing our minds of all that we need to be, to be seen and heard, and truly believing we are enough without it all. We are enough. As are our children.